Vanek26 ( or known by his real name Jake Cohen, just be sure not to call him that or he'll get real angry ! ) is currently a FA in the EASHL and is desperate to get back onto the Carnivore Hockey Club. He's infamous for being one of the most annoying human beings to ever live and can pester you by simply speaking.

Vanek also happens to be very irritable as if you being to mock him in the slighest, he will be quick to start whinning at you to stop it. If you don't oblige, he will block communications with you and will only unblock you if you apologize. most don't.

Also believes he's better then most people who play the game and that if you hate him, it must obviously be because of your jealously towards his skill. Was so annoying that at one point during late september, 4 prominent members of the Carnivores considered leaving the team if he wasn't kicked off the team asap. still pops every now and then on the club, mostly as a place holder to invite people back or to play games when the team needs extra people.

Wildly rumored that he lives in a cage and his allowance is based on Microsoft currency. May or may not be slapped around by father.

Has a lisp that makes L's come out like W's ( think a young Adam Sandler on SNL )


Jake at a young age in his cage


The man who Jake prays to every night


Edited for accuracy. 100% Accurate